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Share a Memory, Story or Thoughts about Mary

22 thoughts on “Comments”

  1. One of my favorite memories is going on vacation to Arizona in 2004. This trip was with Mary, Charlotte Swan (a childhood friend) Kalina and me (Lauren). Mom was such a good sport about the whole trip, really trying to enjoy the journey, the bumps in the road and all the events that happened along the way. Mary loves to tell stories and this trip added several adventures to her repertoire of tales which have only become slightly exaggerated over the years. Maybe she’s told you some of these: renting the Avalon, Christmas dinner eating Chinese food, people buying presents from the convenience store, seeing the Grand Canyon, and many others. Thanks mom, for coming on a trip of a lifetime and making memories we can keep forever.

  2. One of my favorite memories is Grandma being at my wedding. She knew how special this day was to me and gave me a pep talk before I walked down the aisle. She told me not to cry and not to mess up my makeup before the wedding even started. Then the lighters not working when lighting the candles we made it work. It meant so much to me that gram was able to do this on my special day!

  3. My most fond memories are of visiting the house for Thanksgiving year after year. I enjoyed being in the woods, and the beautiful views. I recall our watching ice skating. At one point you had rabbits, I loved that! I remember having a delicious meal and sharing dish duty, and having fun with Dana and Lauren.
    I remember eating some healthy foods, I think that was Bob’s thing. Like carob instead of chocolate.
    Of course I know how much John Hussey enjoyed visiting the house also, and really felt welcomed. He felt a good connection to Bob and they had some fun playing an airplane video game. Lucky to have had such great times.
    Love, Adrienne

  4. Celebrating Thanksgiving with the Haven family every year is one of my most cherished memories. I loved the warm, sunny house on Kenyon Drive, the giant dining room table where we’d gather to gorge ourselves on a Thanksgiving feast or play Rummy 500 for hours, Bob puttering in the kitchen or feeding the wood stove, and Mary keeping us organized and making us laugh with her stories…both of them making us feel loved and welcome. That house was a second home; Bob, Mary, Dana, and Lauren our extended family.

  5. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARY. We met as neighbors in 1966 and have had a non-stop friendship ever since. We made jewelry and sold it ourselves JaiLu (Joan &your middle name.//Camping in Chewonki: art lessons you taught on picnic tables, scary stories around a fire pit after dark//wonderful lobster meals//Bob & Russ sailing on a tiny board boat//First of February you decorated your family room for a valentine party and we called to say the house we were buying from an estate could not be moved into for 30 days. You invited the three of us to live In your decorated family room with you. Did we sleep on the floor in sleeping bags?//You wanted us to move to your “commune” in Maine. During a visit with you in your beautifully built home the tar in the furnace caught fire! We loved your home, the big garden and Maine but it was not the right time yet to leave Polaroid//You started to send me boxes of jig saw puzzles. It was exciting to open those boxes. Because you went to all that trouble, I have now completed at least 200 puzzles. There is always one set up ready to enjoy on my table.//The large Xmas box filled with treasures, each one wrapped separately, arrived by Thanksgiving with a gigantic, black sign on it: DO NOT OPEN UNTIL DEC. 25th.// We have stayed close by three or four telephone conversations each week in which we support each other, solve the problems of the World and ask what time is it there? //You are a teacher Mary and have taught me so many helpful things in life. You have truly enriched me. Many friends have some and gone but you have always stayed with me. ALL MY GRATETUDE AND LOVE TO YOU. Joan

  6. My best and treasured memories of my Mom deal with the special love that we’ve shared throughout our lives together . . . They, like our love for one another is endless and eternal!

    The first memory that I’d like to share deals with a memory (not that I actually remember it myself (only know about the instance because of what she wrote in her diary)) that I cherish of the first time we met (June 3rd and 4th 1965) when I met both my future Mom and Dad at the adoption agency. On June 3rd they both played and held me from 10:30 a.m. to 12 noon “not a cry that day, just smiles most of the time” and my Mom’s first impression of me was “Dana was the most wonderful sight we had ever seen. We are the luckiest parents in the whole world”! The next day, (June 4th) I was brought into their home to stay and after “investigating the house and coming to both of my parents to be held”, later that day met two of my Grandparents for the first time and although going to be at 8:30 p.m. awoke upset at 8:30 and “stayed awake until about 10:30” , then up, “again at 12 but went to sleep after a backrub”! At 3:00 a.m. I “woke crying a bit homesick, so he came in to our bed with his toys and he played until 4:30 a.m. and fell asleep in Mommy’s arms and stayed sleeping until 7:30 a.m.!” That day was finally described by my Mom by her saying, “What a wonderful day we should celebrate it every year”!!

    Through the years Mom always showed her love for me in such special ways. Examples of these ways are some of the most meaningful that come to the top of my head:

    1. Putting her arm in front of me on numerous occasions while driving (even though I had my seatbelt on) when she stepped on the brakes of the car.
    2. Driving me to school when I felt too uncomfortable to take the bus
    3. Allowing me to sleep on the floor at the bottom of Dad’s and her bed when I was having nightmares’ and was very scared
    4. Still loving me although I never really loved art (her college major) and was terrible at it lol
    5. Willing to help me to get help through professional counseling throughout different struggles and problems throughout the years
    6. Sharing many long trips to Allagash Maine to visit Seth
    7. Understanding and excepting (never hiding that I was adopted from me) my search for my Natural parents
    8. Always letting me know (even as an adult) if need be their home was always my home also
    9. Letting me pick t.v. dinners to eat while Dad was working out of State.
    10. Being present at many many events, sporting events, graduations (Military included), weddings, court appearances lol, Birthdays, many other celebrations and get togethers

    Thank you for being you, thank you for being my Mom, the best of the best (Yes I am biased lol)!!!

  7. Elizabeth Haven-Cirame

    Gram as a child growing up I always looked forward to my time with you and haha Bob (grandpa) . My late teen years i would come to see you for a few days and you would teach me so much you took the time and taught me to make a blanket for my friends baby’s . I loved helping you at the swap shop . And my girls being able to make memories with you 💕 but most importantly I enjoy every moment I am able to spend with you . Love you with my whole ❤

  8. Through the many, many years, “Aunt Mary” was generous with her love and a bit of discipline from time to time. I remember that Dana had an Indian Scouts event at their Wayland house while I was staying with them. To make sure I didn’t feel left out, Mary planned my own special evening up in her and Bob’s bedroom. Imagine my delight at finding a craft project waiting for me and I think we ate supper there too. I was so pleased to have Mary make a special evening for me. We probably had magical Jiffy Pop stovetop popcorn too! Her parenting was needed when I stole a pack of gum from a grocery store around age 7. She didn’t get angry with me or speak loudly, she just walked me back in to the store to return the gum. The humiliation of the return was lesson enough. She has been another parent to me in all the right ways; setting examples in her own actions, and recounting lots of events from her own life that has shaped who she is. The lessons I have gleaned from Mary through the years have been a guidepost for me as I navigate the important my choices in life.
    Mary is fun-loving. She took us places, encouraged our interests, praised our skills and curiosity. She doesn’t tell you she loves you, she SHOWS you she loves you, in so many ways; an unexpected card in the mail, a book, a lobster dinner, a planned outing, and many years of hosting Thanksgiving where everyone was made to feel welcome and expected to pitch in – not because she was dictatorial, but because that’s what bonds a family and community. And if you were there, you had a chance to be part of a special family. Happy Birthday Aunt Mary! Thank you for sharing the breadth and depth of your life in a meaningful and lasting way. Love, Anita

  9. Through the many, many years, “Aunt Mary” was generous with her love and a bit of discipline from time to time. I remember that Dana had an Indian Scouts event at their Wayland house while I was staying with them. To make sure I didn’t feel left out, Mary planned my own special evening up in her and Bob’s bedroom. Imagine my delight at finding a craft project waiting for me and my own snacks! I was so pleased to have Mary make a special evening for me. We probably had magical Jiffy Pop stovetop popcorn too! Among other times, her parenting was needed when I stole a pack of gum from a grocery store around age 7. She didn’t get angry with me or speak loudly, she just walked me back in to the store to return the gum. The humiliation of the return was lesson enough. She has been another parent to me in all the right ways; setting examples with her own words and actions, and guiding me through my own discovery of lessons. The lessons have been a guidepost for me as I navigate the important my choices in life.
    Mary is fun-loving. She took us places, encouraged our interests, praised our skills and curiosity. She doesn’t tell you she loves you, she SHOWS you she loves you, in so many ways; an unexpected card in the mail, a book, a lobster dinner, a planned outing, and many years of hosting Thanksgiving where everyone was made to feel welcome and expected to pitch in – not because she was dictatorial, but because that’s what bonds a family and community. And if you were there, you had a chance to be part of a special family. Happy Birthday Aunt Mary! Thank you for sharing the breadth and depth of your life in a meaningful and lasting way. Love, Anita

  10. One of my favorite memories with Gram was doing anything with arts and crafts! We would make lots of special occasion hand made cards every holiday for everyone we knew. She taught me how to paint and draw with clay, chalk, oil paints and lots of other ways to be messy. I also love the trips we made to the aquarium every summer with Grandbob and all the little ocean creatures saw. Then we would go on a whale watch to see the seals, dolphins and whales play! So many great memories 🙂

  11. I’m remembering you and Bob were our first friends after we moved up from Flushing, L.I. so Gabe could begin working at Honeywell in Wellesley. There he met Bob Haven and soon you invited us for dinner, the first of many. I remember one dinner of chicken parts encrusted with crushed potato chips! That was new to me! And wine. There was always wine.

    After dinner we would pile in the car, sometimes with Russ and Joan Cook, to shop at Spag’s and then to ‘The Auction”. On auction nights we’d have to eat a little earlier and rush from Spag’s to be sure to be there in time to get good seats for the start of the fun, and often surprising, auction. Other times we’d clear the table after supper (except for the wine) .and play Mille Bourne. What could have been so funny that we laughed all evening?

    Sixty years later and we are blessed to have a myriad of good times to enjoy again as we remember them.

  12. Wow, the birthday party photos are great! What better way to celebrate than with the very young and not-so-young together, enjoying lots of balloons, cake, and play. Looks like everyone had fun.

  13. Hi Mary-
    Love all those photos of you with your wonderful family. And the great grandchildren are wonderful–such a joy their addition to the family. I remember you at Sundance Meadow–awesome what you and Bob created there–such a beautiful place. I remember hearing about your first winter there–how did you do it? So cold in an unheated house in the middle of a Maine winter. And then that first summer when Rick was helping to finish the building. And most of all, the Autor children having so much fun with Lauren and Dana. I can picture them swimming at the lake in Damariscotta –racing out to the raft. I remember LBJ –the Blue Jay you rescued and that you traveled with for–I think years–in that cage–LBJ went with you when you came to visit us in Damariscotta. I remember taking my first art class with you, Mary–when you had some neighbors over to learn about art. The first assignment was about perspective. I”m not sure that I ever mastered it. And the watercolor class we took together in Sudbury. My introduction to watercolor and painting. And the beautiful painting you did in that class which hung in your living room. So many wonderful things we shared together.
    And so grateful to you for carpooling Dana and David to kindergarten. And your garden in Wayland. So many wonderful memories.

    Love,
    Sherry

  14. Elizabeth Lauer

    Mary was almost a year younger than I, so in March, 1936 she was two and one-half. I was spending three weeks with her and her parents (my mother was delivering her second child; women stayed in the hospital for three weeks at the time), and I vividly remember: Cousin Mary wore a patch over her right eye. It was both rakish and chic, and I was really impressed. (She had a “lazy” left eye, so it was forced to work in this circumstance, which would later lead, of course, to her having an artistically able, clever, inspired left hand.) Another item: when Mary chewed her food, she hummed along, mostly in a loud monotone. (I tried this when I returned to my family—that now included my brother, Hank—and I was summarily told to cut it out.) Another vivid memory: in July, 1960, Mary and her mother, my Aunt Lois, warmly welcomed my husband, Lou, and me to their home, in spite of the fact that not one of my family members (nor my husband’s) had attended our February wedding. Franz Schubert’s two-hundredth birthday in 1997 was the last time Mary and I actually saw each other. My piano partner and I participated in a concert in Marion, MA, which Mary and cousin Sally attended. A schlepp for Mary, who whispered (sort of) into my ear, after the concert: “You were the BEST!” Since then, we kept in touch, mostly on the phone, with politics being a favorite subject. She was straightforward, funny, observant, affectionate, and … the BEST.

  15. Mary, our memories go back a long way, a long time. I remember when we rented a vacation home together in New Hampshire. Dana –I don’t quite remember–very young and crying at night. David had chicken pox. maybe just before. You were talking about the Nearings and what you were planning to do following what you learned from them. You were looking for land to start your community. You were looking in Maine and New Hampshire then. And then you found Dresden and were ready to build after study in New Hampshire where you learned how to build your own home–on telephone polls. What a wondrous project and so well realized.
    I remember you in Wayland–your garden. You and Bob always had a garden and one that provided food. I can picture you in your kitchen preserving fruits and vegetables in glass jars. I was sorry when you moved away and we couldn’t join you.
    But then we had all those wonderful summers together with the children playing and swimming together. We rented a house in Damariscotta and you enjoyed it too—the lake–the lovely setting.
    And over the years, when we visited you in Maine–what gracious hosts you and Bob were. And what fun to be with. And the walks you and I took together–sharing our thoughts and enjoying each other’s company.
    So much we shared as our families were growing up–attending Dana and Lauren’s weddings and the birth of Kalina .
    And enjoying Mary’s artistic talents–in the things she created, paintings, weavings and how creative she was in working with Bob on their business.
    Mary, you’ve been part of our lives, of our family for so long–and you will always remain with us and part of our family.
    We love you.
    Love,
    sherry

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